Fuse #8

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Kiddie lit glamor

You know what I enjoy? Hobnobbing. Nobbing with the hobbs. I like going to fancy dancy Greenwillow Publishing wine and cheese affairs where they proudly display their upcoming books and then hand humble children's librarians like myself pretty gift bags full of goodies. I like that. I like finding myself shaking the hands of editors and publishers and other denizens of the upper eschelons of higher children's literature. I like it so doggone much that I wish I could do it all the time. Maybe become some kind of Children's Librarian Gossip Columnist ala Louella Parsons or someone equally skanky. I could flit from publishing Powerpoint presentation to author signings and then dish up the dirt here.

There is a flaw with this plan, of course. It makes the assumption that there are people in the world who would actually find such information appealing. But if I walk out the door of my library onto 5th Avenue and ask the person on the street (who 9 times out of 10 will be a tourist) whether or not they'd want to hear some snarky hot topic info on Richard Peck, I suspect the answer would run along the lines of "not so much".


So instead I am a children's librarian. Still, I'm keeping my Louella Parsons Project (ho ho) in the back of my mind as a possible alterative career. There it will sit next to my We-Need-To-Revolutionize-Children's-Television Plan. But that's a rant for another day.


At 8:19 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aw, c'mon, Madame Parsons, think how how I lapped up the Donnell Room stuff...your natural audience for snarky stuff on Richard Peck et al is us star-struck kiddie writers!

Take the Greenwillow soiree, for example. You could describe in breathless detail the wine (Century Cellars), the cheese (gorgonzola), and then move on to the good stuff---swoon over dishy editors, swan over up-coming writers, swing the dishy gossip with the best of 'em.

You could wear a fedora with a press card sticking out of the band. And a boa. And those Cuban-heeled shoes. ooo.


At 2:41 PM , Blogger fusenumber8 said...

I think such a job would demand rhinestones in great quantities as well. Plus I'd need the backing of someone particularly powerful (that is, if I'm going to emulate Parson completely). NYPL doesn't exactly strike fear into the hearts of patrons, so maybe I could sell-out and get some rich muckety-muck on my side. But a moral rich muckety-muck. Which, now that I think about it, is far more difficult to imagine. Maybe Bono....

At 8:19 AM , Blogger Pam Calvert said...

Do it! I'd read it! ;-)

At 10:29 AM , Blogger fusenumber8 said...

Awww. You make me blush. Tell you what, I'll just drop little asides once in a while. For example, if someone tells me that Mary Englebright is the devil incarnate (this is apparently true) I'll just work it into a column slyly. Of course then I run the risk of offending the Englebright accolytes out there, but what are they gonna do? Cutesify me to death?


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