The Cinematical Review of Eragon
Why see the movie when you can read a delightful review of this bit of treacle firsthand? Here is the list of things that reviewer Scott Weinberg does NOT want to see in a movie ever again.
And it gets better.
A wizened old mentor teaching a young pupil to let something "flow" through him. A scene in which someone rides the back of a dragon while whooping and cheering. A young hero rushing off to save his friends despite being warned that such actions spell d-o-o-m. An explanation from a henchman to a villain detailing why he came back empty-handed.