Sugar Sugar

Am I ashamed of my full-on love of Archie comics as a kid? I probably should be, but I'm not. I grew up reading both the bizarre adventures of 1980s Veronica and Betty (I liked Betty better but Veronica had brown hair like me) alongside my mother's old Archie Pep comics. Those Pep collections would probably be worth money by now if I hadn't reduced them to yellowing shreds all over my grandmother's carpet. Oh well. Now the Onion A.V. Club has a piece following the adventures of Archie and pals over the decades. Their assessment?

Has anyone ever hated teenagers with the gusto of the writers and artists at Archie Comics? Since the first story about Archie Andrews and his Riverdale High chums appeared in 1941 (as a backup feature in the superhero-heavy Pep Comics), the series has stealthily ripped everything rank and transitory about youth culture and passing fads, from the jitterbug to slam-dancing.

This in reference to the Archie Americana Series of books. Someone has meticulously collected Archie comics and put them into their respective decades. This begs the obvious question: If you had a one-night stand, woke up the next morning, and saw a bookshelf full of the Archie Americana Series, what would be your first reaction? Would you bolt or propose marriage?