Things To Do Should You Ever Decide To Be Rich

Auctions, aside from ebay, are not for normal everyday schlubs like you and me. They are for the rich. As such, it's just soooo unfair when I hear about something like this. A group named the First Amendment Project is going to be auctioning off "character-naming rights in forthcoming works by prominent authors". What does this mean? It means that Carl Hiaasen's winner's name will "appear at least once as a taxidermied rat in my next children's novel." Even better, Chris Ware (who has an awesome show at the Chicago Museum of Contemporary Art, by the way) will include the winner's name and "approximate drawn likeness" in an upcoming serial comic strip. Though, admittedly, considering how Ware presents his characters, this might be a somewhat depressing prize.

So do any children's authors out there want to place eight fuses in your next children's book? I'll... uh... I'll send you a cupcake if you do! Anything for charity, after all.