Republican Finds a Use For Children's Books

Unfortunately it's ... well.... here's the title of the article:

Candidate Proposes Using Textbooks As Shields

As Maud Newton said, "Note that this link is not to The Onion", hard as that may be to believe.
Bookninja, on the other hand, had this to say on the matter:

A school type in the US has suggested all students be provided with thick textbooks to use as shields during what seem to be the weekly shootings down there. Nice metaphor. I remember that old version of Snakes and Ladders based where the justification for a climb or slide was based on a set of morals. One of the longest snakes had a girl leaning back, relaxing at her desk, obviously slacking off from studying. At the bottom of the snake, the same girl was huddled in rags on a bench. If you don’t use your books wisely, you’ll end up fashion-poor and cold. Or in this case, if you don’t use your books wisely, you’re likely to be shot dead by that nutbar kid you’ve been pushing around at recess. Of course, students are free to open these books as well and see if there’s anything useful inside besides the Kevlar pages.