It Was a Dark and Stormy Night Redux

Editorial Anonymous has just opened a Worst of the First Contest for you creative types out there. And I quote:

This will be your chance to enter both real first lines of manuscripts (for you gluttons for punishment) and made-up-just-for-the-contest first lines.

I'll offer a Bulwer Lytton Prize for overall, overwritten awfulness, but remember, this is the easy one. It's tougher to write first lines that are bad in ways that many people achieve accidentally--but those are the ones I'll really be on the lookout for.

There will also be a Seuss Prize for poetry as rhythmic as a pounding migraine, a Drivel Award for uninspired use of cliches, a Robert Munsch Citation for most dysfunctional relationship in a first line, and other honors based on the varieties of dreck you foist upon me.

My eyes stray longingly towards a couple self-published items I received last year. We'll see if I ever give in to temptation. As for yourself, go wild.

Yay! I Created an Uneasy Feeling!

Editorial Anonymous recently asked you pretty kittens to come up with cool first lines. Well, the winners are in. She's separated everything into categories. You've got your Humor, Rhythm, Voice, Tension, and Honorable Mentions.

Of said Honorable Mentions, Ms. Anonymous mentions of the submissions, "Here are a few that I have a slightly uneasy feeling about, but I'd keep reading. And after all, that's the main thing." And I made one! Hooray, uneasiness!

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

Contesty-westy time, chickens. Editorial Anonymous has been commenting on the power of the first line. She considers tension, voice, sense of humor, cadence, and rhythm. Then she says this:

So here's the deal: send me your first line (or your first two lines, if you must) and I will post a select few to comment on. Send them to my email with CONTEST in the subject line.

This contest opens now, and closes as soon as I've had enough. Maybe tomorrow.

As of my writing this right now, it's still open. There's no prize as such, but it's a fun idea. It may be over by now, though. Note it.

UPDATE: TOO LATE! The contest has closed. Ah well. Maybe I'll have one of my own soon.